I can’t give you everything I want to; but that’s okay, because you can’t give me everything I need.
Tag Archives: thoughts
Cheers to being back in school!
I feel like I should apologize for the significant lack of posting this summer, however, I don’t think I will. I’m happy that I took the time off; I’d like to hope that you are all happy that I didn’t post something just to post something for you.
I was also quite surprised to return to see two “Beautiful Blogger Award” nomination things waiting for me! I’d like to thank Jaimee and Mr. Weissel for nominating me, and I urge you to check out their sites as well.
Apparently there are rules to this game. So, I’ll nominate some of my favourites (in randomized order) to receive the beautiful blogger award as well, and then I tell you seven facts about myself.
http://fortheloveofnike.com/ I really wish I could long-term borrow all of her shoes. And probably her closet as well. *crossing fingers she has big feet like me*
http://brokenlightcollective.wordpress.com/ This is a site that is dedicated to various artists who have struggled with some sort of mental illness and care to document and share their struggles. All I can say is that there are some wonderful artists out there who are much stronger than I could ever be.
http://gaia365.wordpress.com/ His photos keep me in awe. There really isn’t much more to say.
http://ojproctor.wordpress.com/ I love his unique photography perspective. Not going to lie, he probably somewhat changed the way I look through a camera.
http://jdhascup.wordpress.com/ His blog fills me with wanderlust. And he makes me jealous that I am cooped up in a windowless classroom 98% of my day.
http://domesticdivamd.com/ Funny medical stories and there’s food?? Count me in!
I don’t get much time to read other people’s blogs, for some odd reason.
Now for seven facts, and I hope I don’t accidentally repeat any from my birthday facts post.
1. In high school I considered going to college to be a fashion designer. I also considered being a chiropractor.
2. I like to cook/bake in my free time. In fact, I recently made a homemade stuffed crust pepperoni pizza. Gosh, I love pizza.
3. I know I have mentioned this in the past somewhere on here, but I am a coupon-er. Like almost extreme coupon-er. I refuse to pay more than $0.50 for a tube of toothpaste or $1.oo for a bottle of shampoo/conditioner.
4. I wish there were more strong, positive female role models in the world to guide the girls growing up in today’s society. It makes me terribly sad that people look up to Snooki, the Kardashians, and Lindsey Lohan (She’s still around, right?). I want them to know that in the grand scheme of life, it doesn’t matter what colour your hair is, how white your teeth are, or what clothes you are wearing. You don’t need a boyfriend to be happy. You don’t need to put out to be loved. It even doesn’t matter how many facebook friends you have or how many people follow you on twitter or instagram. Spend your time doing things that do matter: helping others, education, and doing things that make you passionate about life.
5. I would like to train for a half marathon, and be ready to run one by this coming summer.
6. I may or may not have impulse purchased 22 new bottles of nail polish less than a week ago. I can hardly contain my excitement for when my packages arrive in the mail! (I have mentioned in the past that I kind of have an addiction. Do they have rehab for this sort of thing? It doesn’t really matter, because I wouldn’t want to go.)
7. Finally! I have been listening to heart sounds on my computer while I study to try learn them for the cardiology portion of my class. I’ve been listening to 10 second clips repeat themselves over and over and over again for around 8 hours a day.
Jeez, that got long! And now back to studying. Cardiovascular infectious disease day. Can’t wait.
If you aren’t the person I dreamt you would be, you can still be you, and I will love you just the same.
With Immunology, Hematology, and Oncology out of the way, I am sure to catch up on sleep, a social life, exercise, and house cleaning. That is, until Monday when we complete our last week of Social and Behavioural Medicine. I have noticed that somewhere in the past six weeks, summer has snuck up on me while I have been hiding away in a dark corner of this med school. I’m crossing my fingers that the weather will cooperate this weekend and next week so I can go fill my camera, once again, with all the beautiful things in God’s Country up here. Until then, you will continue to see glimpses of flowers from the botanical garden.
If I tell you nothing else, I want you to know this: I will love you until tomorrow. Today was hard. Today was not worth fighting for. Today I am broken down, exhausted, and falling down, as though someone grabbed my core and shook me until I was no more than cement ruins of the castle that once stood where I stand now. Tomorrow it may rain down on this once-was-castle, but I’ve always said I love the rain. I’ve always said I love you more than the rain. But rain falls and sunshine dries it up like the perfect antagonist would. Tomorrow may have rays of sun shine down like a spotlight on this once-was-castle, but I’ve always said I love the sun. And I’ve always said I love you more than the sun. But the sunshine is so easily blocked by the rumbling of black rain clouds, the perfect antagonist. You and I both know that today was a hard day. And though I may not love you today, I can promise you this: I will love you until tomorrow.
While surfing around the lovely land of WordPress, I recently ran across an interesting post on a wonderful young lady’s blog that I loved. After mulling over it about a week, I think I have finally decided I can do this.
To just steal the quote right off Miss Docimo’s page, this “is a blog-writing challenge to break through the mist of this shiny happy pretty blogosphere and tell the real truth about your life—the things you’re afraid to tell because you think they might shatter who people think you are. I have talked about this idea often with my husband—I think the internet is a blessing and a curse—it is amazing to be able to connect with people from all over the world and inspire each other, but it can also be down-right depressing to go around to one blog after another that makes the blogger seem like they have everything all together, and success is literally raining down upon them while they take bubble baths and drink champagne in a beautiful beachfront home. Even though I realize that people are representing only part of the truth (I’m a blogger myself and tend to focus on inspiration), I often find myself feeling depressed and jealous as I make my blog rounds, and tend to avoid reading blogs when I’m in a certain mood.”
1. I’m terribly afraid of growing vain. I would much prefer struggling with insecurity issues than be blinded of my over-confidence issues. On the same note, I’m not comfortable with my body size and shape, with how thin my hair is, with my fingernails, with my lingering acne, with my hunchback, with the stank of my feet, with my awkward incoordination, and with me in general.
2. I’m afraid of people really getting to know all of me. I have no idea why I don’t like anyone knowing everything about me, but I feel it may have something to do with vulnerability.
3. I’m afraid of being held responsible for other people’s lives in my future. I think this is for obvious reasons, though.
4. I’m afraid if I tell you that I don’t have many fears, you will think I don’t care. That you will think my lack of fear of dying means I don’t understand the meaning of life. That you will think I don’t feel anything when I tell you I’m not afraid of heartbreak. That you will think I am stupid for not being afraid of heights, spiders, snakes, rats, etc. That you will think my lack of fear of failure means I haven’t ever failed. That you will think I’m fearless, when in all reality I’m not.
5. I’m more scared of meeting my significant other’s parents than sky diving. Don’t translate this as me rather jumping out of a plane than meeting his parents. It’s a little bit different than that.
6. I’m terrified of having children.
7. I’m afraid to tell you I have this drafted since Tuesday and just haven’t been able to push the publish button until today.