Dreams, Boys, Money, and Death

28 Nov

You caught me. I managed to sneak the whole way through the Thanksgiving season without posting the obligatory “I’m thankful for…” post. “Shame on you,” you say, “because you have so much to be thankful for!” I know, I know. So why am I dragging my feet so much at the idea of writing this? I’ll tell you why. I tend to get icky mushy gushy about it. I guess maybe it might be a good thing for me to put some emotion out other than sarcasm, and for once say something that isn’t pure bull-honkey.

Shiver… that sounds terrible. If I had a shot of something strong, this might be easier. Okay, now that is just a total lie. Stupid alcohol and it’s stupid powers. Big breath iiiinnnn, and ouuuuut. Whelp, here goes nothing.

I am thankful to be part of a generation that is actively participating in the betterment of our future. I am thankful there is such diversity in the population, and with it, so much beauty. I am thankful there are people out there with an open mind, engaging mind, and critical mind all in one being.

I am thankful that others believed in my dreams more than I did, and gave me the opportunity to pursue them into my future.

I am thankful to have learned about death at an early age, however, I miss my best friend. I’m still not sure why it is fair to take someone so caring, giving, and understanding at the age of 10 away from this world. With that, I am thankful to have known both of my grandfathers and my great grandmother. I am even more thankful I get to continue to a relationship with my grandmothers, my mother, my father, my brother, and my sister. I am thankful to have learned not to fear death.

I am thankful to have for the most part defeated my biggest struggle in life: anorexia.

I am thankful for all the people that carry me when I don’t feel strong enough to stand. I’m just as thankful I have the stability necessary to hold so many other people up when all they want to do is fall down and never get up.

I am thankful for what little money my parents did have, and where it got us today.

I am thankful for both my ex-boyfriends, and I am thankful for the very different lessons they each taught me. I am thankful they took the time to teach me to love. To hate. And to reconcile. I’m also thankful that I am independent enough to not require a significant other in order to function and/or be happy.

I am thankful I was raised to possess humility, benevolence, perceptiveness, and optimism, as well as an inquisitive mind. I am thankful that I have enough of a spine to say “no” when necessary, and enough strength to hold my ground when it is appropriate. I’m thankful to have enough klutz in me that I can laugh at myself on occasion. (Okay, rather frequently…) I’m thankful to meet people everyday that remind me of these things individually, either by positive or negative reinforcement.

I’m thankful to be alive despite all the struggles, euphoric triumphs, monotony, and chaos that has been thrown my way. And I’m thankful to still be sane.

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Posted by on November 28, 2011 in My Inspiration and Motivation


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