I’m sure all of you were concerned I was dead, but thankfully I am able to tell you I am still part of the living, (please don’t feel too terrible that you didn’t even notice I hadn’t written anything for close to a week…) that is after all the sleep I’ve managed to obtain the past couple of days. It’s unbelievable, really. I didn’t think it was possible to sleep that much.
Since I am excellent at coming up with excuses, I could have had a mini book printed to enamor you with my skilled, hilarious, and oh so entertaining thoughts as to why this tragic lack of posting happened. (That statement was clearly exaggerating my whole life, in case you didn’t notice.) Instead, I decided to surprise you with a once in a lifetime, handmade drawing by none other than myself. …No, a third grader did not draw this, but I can definitely see how you might be thinking that. I promise I won’t cry if you don’t print it and hang it on your fridge (or if you don’t think that any of the reasons are valid for not writing a new post in ONE WHOLE WEEK).
P.S. I didn’t want to draw something so terrifying that no one would want to come back to my site, and therefore, the test monster is cartoonized and Disney-ified and stuff. It is much, much scarier in real life. Trust me. It was hovering over my shoulder for about two weeks.
P.P.S. Didn’t picture me to look like that? Well it’s practically a perfect rendition of myself, right down to the ski feet and awkward stance. Except I have bigger boobs, obviously.